Elisa Ventur

When the Pursuit of Money Hurts Your Love Life

4 minutes

Ah, the age-old dilemma: balancing the pursuit of cold, hard cash with the warm, fuzzy feelings of love and connection. It’s a tale as old as time—or at least as old as capitalism. You’re cruising along, career thriving, money pouring in, and suddenly, you notice your partner giving you the side-eye, wondering when you last had a meaningful conversation that didn’t involve stock options or the latest market trends. Here’s the million-dollar question: What do you do when the pursuit of money starts to become a problem?

First, let’s get real. Admit that there’s an issue. You might be tempted to brush it off, thinking, “But I’m doing this for us!” Yes, your intentions are golden, but if your partner feels neglected, those good intentions are as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Accepting that there’s a problem is the first step toward solving it.

Cybele and Bevan
Cybele and Bevan

You’ve heard this a million times, but guess what? It’s repeated often because it works. Schedule regular date nights, but make them unique. No, not the same-old dinner and a movie: Think about a spontaneous picnic in the park, a cooking class, or even a goofy dance-off in your living room. The key is to make time for each other without distractions. No phones, no work talk, just pure, unadulterated togetherness.

Here’s where emotional intelligence comes into play. Sit down with your partner and have an honest conversation. Ask them how they feel and listen—really listen. This isn’t the time to defend your long hours or explain why you must answer emails at midnight. Just listen and acknowledge their feelings. Sometimes, all it takes to soothe hurt feelings is to feel heard and understood.

Priscilla Du Preez
Priscilla Du Preez

Establishing boundaries between work and personal life is crucial. This might mean setting a strict “no work talk after 7pm” rule or deciding not to check emails during meals. Stick to these boundaries religiously. Your partner will appreciate the effort, and it will also give you a much-needed break from the grind.

Money isn’t the enemy here. It’s how it’s pursued that can cause friction. If you’re chasing financial goals for the sake of your family, make sure your partner knows this and involve them in the process. Share your dreams and aspirations, and let them be a part of your journey. They might be more understanding and supportive when they see the bigger picture and how they fit into it.

Nothing says “I love you” like a surprise act of kindness. It doesn’t have to be grand or expensive. Tap into your and your partner’s love languages. Write a heartfelt note, cook their favorite meal, or simply take over a chore they dislike. These small gestures show your partner that they are a priority in your life despite your busy schedule.

Nikolett Emmert
Nikolett Emmert

Take some time to reflect on your priorities. Are you working for a better future or simply caught in the rat race? It’s easy to get swept up in the pursuit of success and forget why you started in the first place. Reflect on what truly matters to you. Is it the next promotion or the smile on your partner’s face? Sometimes, a little self-awareness can lead to significant changes.

If the gap between you and your partner feels too wide to bridge, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Couples therapy isn’t just for those on the brink of divorce. It can be incredibly beneficial for anyone looking to improve their relationship. A therapist can provide tools and strategies to help you communicate better, resolve conflicts, and reconnect emotionally.

Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance that works for both of you. Life isn’t all about money, but it isn’t all about romance, either. Striking the right balance means compromising and sometimes making tough choices. It might mean taking a step back at work to invest more time in your relationship or finding more efficient ways to manage your time.

Aaron Burden
Aaron Burden

Finally, remember why you fell in love in the first place. Was it their laugh, their kindness, their quirky habits? Whatever it was, hold on to that. In the grand scheme of things, love makes life worth living. Money can provide comfort and security, but love brings joy and fulfillment.

Ultimately, the pursuit of money and the nurturing of amore need not be mutually exclusive. You can do both with intention, effort, understanding, and creativity. So, take a deep breath, put down your phone, and hug your partner. You’ve got this!

When the Pursuit of Money Hurts Your Love Life