During a family gathering last holiday season, Sarah gave her brother a simple handwritten note. It wasn’t a grand gesture—just a few lines of thanks for his support during a challenging time. To her surprise, this usually reserved brother was moved to tears. He never knew how much his presence mattered until he read her words. This small act of gratitude strengthened their relationship and changed how they communicate moving forward. I’ve experienced how appreciation can also have a healing effect on strained relationships—bringing people to a deeper connection instead of focusing on misunderstandings or conflicts.
Appreciation is one of the most powerful yet underutilized tools for building strong and meaningful relationships. As the famous American psychologist William James once said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” Whether in families, friendships, or workplaces, expressing gratitude creates positive ripple effects far beyond the moment. When we actively acknowledge others, we reinforce their value and nurture trust, empathy, and mutual respect. The ripple effect of appreciation strengthens relationships through three key lenses.
1. Appreciation Builds Emotional Connections and Trust.
At its core, appreciation is an affirmation of someone’s worth. When we take the time to thank others, we acknowledge their efforts, sacrifices, or presence in our life. This builds emotional bridges, fostering trust and deeper connections. According to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, expressing gratitude increases relationship satisfaction because it strengthens emotional bonds.
Example:
Consider a colleague who helps you meet an important deadline. A simple “thank you” can go a long way, but taking a moment to highlight what their support meant to you—such as saying, “I couldn’t have done this without your help”—cements that relationship. It reinforces the value they add and encourages future collaboration and trust. In fact, in my work with my clients, I have demonstrated how one of the top three desires employees have of their leaders is to feel appreciated. And often, employees express that this is more valuable than receiving a raise or promotion. Further, when appreciated, employees will likely enlist in the business vision and gladly help you reach your goals. Consider including words of affirmation with each gift or bonus at this year’s holiday party.
Fostering Trust through Appreciation:
• Be specific with your appreciation. Instead of saying, “Thanks for everything,” highlight the exact actions or effort.
• Use eye contact and body language to make your words feel sincere and meaningful.
• Write thank-you notes or personalized messages to express gratitude in a lasting way.
2. Gratitude Fosters a Positive Feedback Loop in Relationships.
When people feel appreciated, they are more likely to reciprocate kindness and goodwill, creating a positive feedback loop in relationships. This phenomenon is known as reciprocity—a social principle that suggests people naturally respond to kind actions with kindness in return. A study conducted by the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley found that people who regularly express gratitude are more likely to experience higher levels of social bonding and community belonging.
Example:
Imagine complimenting friends for their generosity after they host a holiday dinner. In turn, your friends will feel more motivated to extend future invitations and maintain the friendship because they know their effort is appreciated. This back-and-forth exchange of positive reinforcement deepens trust and strengthens relationships over time.
Creating a Positive Feedback Loop:
• Celebrate small wins and milestones with those around you.
• Encourage others to express appreciation openly, fostering a culture of gratitude.
• Be mindful of acknowledging even routine efforts, such as thanking your spouse for household tasks.
3. Appreciation Increases Personal Happiness and Resilience
One of the most remarkable aspects of expressing appreciation is that it benefits both the giver and the receiver. Research from Harvard Medical School suggests that people who practice regular gratitude experience improved mental health, stronger immune systems, and greater overall happiness. When we express appreciation, our brains release dopamine and serotonin—neurotransmitters associated with feelings of happiness and well-being.
Example:
Consider starting a gratitude journal where you jot down three things you’re grateful for daily, including the people in your life. Over time, you’ll find that expressing appreciation strengthens your relationships and fosters emotional resilience, helping you navigate challenges with a positive outlook.
Cultivating Gratitude for Yourself and Others:
• Start or join a gratitude challenge with family or friends to foster appreciation together.
• Make a habit of verbalizing your appreciation, even for small things.
• Reflect on moments when someone’s actions or presence uplifted you, and share that with them.
Key Takeaways
• When people feel seen and valued, they are more likely to develop deeper emotional bonds with those around them.
• Expressing appreciation inspires others to reciprocate, creating a chain reaction of kindness and goodwill.
• Research shows that acts of gratitude improve the well-being of the person being acknowledged and the mental health of the person expressing it.
A Holiday Season Challenge
Appreciation is a gift that costs nothing but carries immeasurable value. Gratitude has a transformative effect on relationships. With its characteristic reflection and togetherness, the holiday season is the perfect time to practice appreciation. This year, commit to expressing appreciation at least once a day. Write a heartfelt note, share a verbal thankyou, or find meaningful ways to acknowledge those around you. Whether you thank a friend, recognize a colleague’s efforts, or express gratitude to a family member, your actions will create ripples that can strengthen your relationships for years to come.
By making appreciation a daily practice, you’ll uplift those around you and experience the joy and fulfillment that comes from knowing your relationships are built on a foundation of trust, kindness, and gratitude. Embrace the ripple effect of appreciation and watch as your relationships flourish in unexpected and beautiful ways.
